Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
