Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
