Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.

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(503): View more from Oregon

i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.

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(416): View more from Toronto

feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?

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(425): View more from Washington

When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.

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