it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
