he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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