so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
