i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She's the barista slut.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
