My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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