dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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