Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
