he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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