All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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