Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
