You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
