I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
