Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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