If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Dick very happy bro
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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