yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
