Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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