So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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