Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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