He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
