I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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