After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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