remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
