She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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