You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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