Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
