i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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