My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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