And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
