question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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