I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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