For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
