I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
The air taste purple.
Randomize
