so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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