I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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