You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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