he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
