I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
