$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
