I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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