Ambien. No doubt about it.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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