Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize