Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
