I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
