I love black thongs
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
