Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
