If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
