Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
