matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
