yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
