Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This baby is an asshole
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
