So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
