I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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